This Scorpio Says…

This Scorpio Says…

Random observations….from a Scorpio (get it?)

Episode 1: What's Hotter than July right now?

Well, it’s July. Hot Humid, incredibly sticky July. Did I mention it’s only the 7^th? Sheesh! Oh, and let’s not get into how much rain we’ve had in South Jersey! What the hell? Man, my hair is basically screaming at me: “Let me outta this poinytail”!

But no such luck ‘tail, not until the weather gives me a reason to bitch about flyaways again.

Hey Mother Earth, how about a break, eh? It would be nice to let my hair down -literally and figuratively.

But enough about ‘tail and her issues. But shout-out to me for referring to my ponytail as an actual person with its dermis and shit. 

As I ponder July and all its moist glory, I can’t help but think about what has led up to this month in 2013.

A whole ‘lotta shit, that’s for sure

But don’t expect a mid-year countdown from me, hell, I’d bore myself.

So I guess I’ll just tell you about the biggest thing that’s happened for me this year so far. The realization that I’m ready to be in a relationship again. Hand-holding, pet naming, love tapping…the whole bit.

(I actually shuddered as I wrote that)  

Will this actually come into fruition? I don’t know. I mean, I’m a handful, a hand-fucking-full!!!

(This is the time where I should be congratulated for my honesty, we Scorpios know we’re a piece of work.)

So yeah, with the awareness that I’m prepared to take on the title ‘girlfriend’ again, it’s safe to say I’m also ready to be an overbearing, possessive, moody, and unnecessarily jealous –because, well, that’s what I do.

Well that and causing my future-ex to reach for hard liquor in a tall glass.

They say you normally find what you’re looking for when you aren’t looking, if this is true, then I have lots more of non-looking to find….

Did that make sense? It did in my head, so let’s roll with it.   

But besides all that, this year so far has been pretty eventful. In no particular order:

-I met a celebrity

-I had a meltdown at work

-I got dangerously close to writing a Pilot (eh, it may still happen, I’ll keep you posted)

-I quit drinking

-I went on a blind-ish date that obviously didn’t help change my status from ‘single’   but whatever.

So, what do I plan to accomplish in the next 6 months? Here’s my list (I’m being totally honest, by the way)

-I wanna scream “you suck”! to a total stranger

-I wanna get a celebrity to block me on twitter

-I wanna get a book deal –or a T.V. Writing deal, or fuck it, even a Porn-writing deal (see what I did there? hehe)

-I wanna meet a fellow YouTuber (Something I’ve been crying wolf about forever, I admit)

-I wanna get a Corned Beef Sandwich

-I wanna go to Chicago.

Welp, that's all the rambling I have for now, but don't worry, there are MORE This Scorpio Says....Episodes coming because there are things that don't fit on YouTube that I'd like to bitch about.

I hope you can handle it!