The Dinner Party

I’ll try my best to explain what happened; even if you think I’m crazy, I just have to tell someone.

It all started a few hours ago…

My best friend Jolene invited me to her father’s house for dinner. And since it had been forever since I had a home-cooked meal, I jumped at the chance. The only thing that seemed really weird was that I needed an invitation, under the strict promise that I was not to tell anyone else about it.

The invitation was printed on was a strange combination of fabric and wax. The time and address were stitched on and I was to arrive at 9pm sharp.

Looking back, I should have known something was up, but how could I? I’ve known Jolene since Grade School, and Mr. & Mrs. Harrison had always seemed like a sweet, normal married couple. I had no reason to think this would happen…

As soon as I knocked on the door, Jolene pulled me into his house with a crushing bear hug in her usual over-the-top way, typical Jolene. Mr. Harrison looked as handsome as ever, a little salt and pepper hair along the hairline, but pretty much looked the same after all these years. The three of us engaged in small talk, until Mr. Harrison seated us in the beautifully arranged dining room, with crystal glasses, silver utensils, and monogram cloth napkins.  Jolene and I sat across from each other as Mr. Harrison retrieved the plates.

“Where’s Mrs. Harrison”?

Jolene and her dad shared an uneasy glance, “Oh I mean to tell ya, My step mom died a few weeks ago”.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Mr. Harrison! I didn’t mean to”-

He held up his hand, “It’s no problem”. He smiled.

Embarrassed, I awkwardly turned my attention to the food in front of me, laid out on beautiful powder blue china. My knife cut into the meat as easily as a samurai sword slicing a tomato. Actually the knife wasn’t needed at all.   

“Mmm, this is really good Mr. Harrison, how did you make it”?

He peeked at me, then to his daughter with a secret grin “Oh, I didn’t make it. It’s the type of meal that…makes itself”.

“Oh, uhh, okay…”

Jolene chimed in, “What he means is, it was really easy to prepare. Dad’s not much of a cook, but he did his thing with this recipe.

But how would she know that? She hadn’t touched her plate, neither did Mr. Harrison. I didn’t even realize they were watching me eat; and believe me, I was eating. No, more than that -I was devouring!

I don’t know, it was like, addictive or something. I think MSG was in that shit or whatever, cause as soon as I finished the stew-type meal, I asked for seconds, then thirds. I had to literally push myself away from the table once my stomach threatened to burst.

And all the while, they watched.

“Wow, that was…wow”. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“We’re glad you liked it” They voiced simultaneously, and then laughed. Abruptly, Mr. Harrison’s voice became stern as he looked me in the eyes, “I’m glad you came over, you really did me a great favor. You know, since my wife died, I’ve been trying to find a way to move on, and you helped me do that”.

“By eating dinner with you”?

“Yes, actually”.

Just then, Jolene rose from the table; I don’t know where she went. Mr. Harrison kept his eyes on me, as he spoke more casually, “You know, I’ve always wanted to know what you taste like”.

It wasn’t until the corner of my eye caught Jolene, and the sharp steel axe coming at my head that I bolted toward the door. I ran as fast as I could into the night, and I came straight here. You gotta believe me Officer, you have to!

“So where is, uh, Mrs. Harrison now?”

“She’s…. inside me”.